A leader's mission, a brother's sacrifice
by windofmysoul
Summary: "With the world at stake the only thing of importance is that you complete the mission no matter what you have to sacrifice or who" my father's words of wisdom echo back in my head as I face the creature in front of me and my fate. My brother's were my world and this was my mission I would not could not fail either one, and did not plan to no matter what the cost.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own the turtles they are the creations ofKevin Eastman, but in all honesty Leonardo the leader in blue is owned by no one while Raph makes his own path ;) **

**Alternate ending to Showdown**

**Chapter 1 **

Leo's P.O.V

"_With the world at stake the only thing of importance is that you complete the mission no matter what you have to sacrifice or who"_ my father's words of wisdom echoe back in my head as I face the creature in front of me and my fate. My pounding heart seems to calm as I realize what I must do. Without a moment's hesitation I leap over Krangg prime, Mikey's chains still in hand, entangling the alien beast and holding it back as I watch my brothers faces fill with panic, I memorize their features, taking them in for the last time.

"Leo" Raph screams out in panic nearly jumping out of the escape pod to get to me.

"No get out of here, NOW!" I yell grasping at the slipping chains as I pull back with all my might, sending silent prayers up above that my brothers will listen to me, that I will be strong enough to hold the monster back, that I won't fail and that my family will be safe.

"What are you talking about" Raph says eyes huge.

"Dude" Mikey says his voice panicky "you can't do this"

"GO" I yell as Krangg Prime pulls harder against the chains in an attempt to reach my awaiting brothers. My muscles scream as the gigantic alien starts to make slow progress toward the awaiting escape pod despite my efforts. "I can't hold it back any longer" I yell in my best leader commanding voice, though I feel desperation seeping into my calm exterior. To my relief Donnie grabs Raph's arm as he makes to leap out of the pod, Mikey pulling the hatch down behind them. Within moments they are gone they are safe, but just before the pod leaves the ship I can see Raph hands on the window screaming my name. I feel my heart shatter as I accept my fate. The world around me shakes before it tilts, the lights on the ship fiz in and out as the technedrom goes crashing into the sea. The freezing water hits my system like a brick wall and it takes all I can to keep myself from screaming out in pain and fear, holding onto my shaking cool I start swimming upward toward a distant light as the ship sinks further and further into darkness. I feel a strong current pulling me under and my muscles scream in protest as I fight to go upward my lungs already rebelling against the long minutes they have been without air. _I must get to my brothers; they need me. _I remind myself as I push onwards and upwards. Suddenly a tentacle wraps around my leg and I am pulled downward. Bubbles swirl around me as precious air escapes as I let out a scream as the tentacle wraps around my midsection cracking ribs. Humming fills my senses and I distantly note a bright light before my world dims to oblivion.

Raph's P.O.V

Tears stain my red mask, as I watch the sun sinks over the ocean. It was hours ago that the last pod left, that the last human was rescued but I don't care. My brother is still out there. The thought sends pain like knives into my heart as fresh tears roll down my face.

"_I gave him nothing but a hard time; if I had it to do over again I'd definitely be nicer_" the thought is like a silent prayer as I watch the dark horizon hoping, wishing to see my brother surface.

"Raph" Donnies voice is timid, broken. "Raph we need to be getting back. I'd like to stay out and search longer you know I would but the police will be all over this area in a matter of minutes" its true I can hear their sirens from here.

Mikey is pulling weakly at my arm as I stand staring at the sea; the sea that took my brother, my only older brother. My best friend. I let out a choked sob as I turn definitely away from the water. "Lets go" I mumble. If Leo is gone (which I hope with all my whole heart that he is not) then I am the oldest, which makes me responsible for Don and Mikey, just as Leo was for us. And if Leo were here he would want me to get our brothers home. So I led them home: for Leo. I do this for Leo. Even though it breaks my heart to leave, it makes me feel like I am giving up. Giving up hope, giving up on him. But I know what Leo would want me to do, so I do it. Personally I never believe any of that about the oldest being responsible. I heard Leo say it enough times, whenever he took the fall for us, sacrificed for us, kept care of us. But now I wonder if this silent role was initiated by Sensie or Leo. I never asked, I never wondered but now without Leo I feel so alone, and I can feel the pressure of responsibility as I lead my lost and broken brothers home.

"My sons" Sensei smiles as we enter the turnstiles. His smile falters as he sees our downcast faces and Leo's absence. "My sons where is you brother?" I don't have the words to tell him, and I don't have to voice to even try, so I look away hiding my tears. "Where is Leonardo?" his voice is louder now, afraid. Mikey can't take it anymore and he breaks down into a fit of sobbing. Splinter rushes forward to comfort our youngest brother, pulling me and Donnie into the hug as well. Mikey's tears all that is needed to tell our father what is wrong. I know his heart is longing for explanation, but I fear I won't be able to give it tonight and I know the same goes for Mikey and Donnie. I don't know how long we sit there leaning on each other, crying on each other comforting one another. I don't know when a restless sleep finally claims me or when Sensei tucked me in like a little kid. What I do know is that we spend the next few days the next few weeks scouring the shore and sea for Leo. For life, for his body, for a sign, for anything. Soon we send our search inward toward the city but as the weeks go by with no sign of our brother, we lose hope and slip into our grief our family barely hanging on as we fight to stay strong, to stay together, and not fall apart.

**TBC**

**Is Leo alive? Is he dead? Will his family ever find him? Will they stay strong will they stand together. **

**Please stay tuned and please review with questions, comments and critiques. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Leo's P.O.V

"Wakey Wakey sleepy head" a voice cooed as a cold cloth caresses my fevered and bloody head. The voice is sweet, kind, and hopeful it reminds me of mikey. My heart aches as I think of my little brother. I miss him so much, his goofy smile, his playful laugh, his optimism, energy and hope. I would give anything to see him again to hug him, to tell him that I love him. I would give anything to see my brothers again, even if for one last time and let them know how much they all mean to me. I miss them all so much it hurts. I groan as the figure with the kind voice tends to a wound sending shooting pain across my broken body. I roll weakly away from the kind voice, and caring hands. How long has it been since I've seen my brothers? How long ago was it that Krangg Prime pulled me into a portal to dimension x. I know that it has been longer for me than it has been for my brothers. And not just because I have been brutally tortured, experimented on and integrated every day since the technodrom. Time is different here than it is on earth, I heard the Krangg talk often about the time difference, if it were weeks for me it may only be hours for them. I honestly don't know the logistics. That would be a question for Donnie. _Oh Donnie how I miss my genius brother!_

"There there Honey" the kind voice says bringing a cup of water to my parched lips as she calms me from a violent coughing fit. "No need to panic your ok now. Your safe. The Krangg can't hurt you no more" I don't respond as I gratefully take the water, embarrassed by my own weakness, that I can't even lift a glass to my mouth, and need to be cared for like an infant. I turn my head away in shame, letting my thoughts drift off back to my family, as the kind woman rambles on. I lost count of the days: the days that I was tortured, that I was a prisoner, that I was away from my family. I had given up hope when a resistance stormed the Krangg headquarters in dimension x. It was army from a planet neighboring the Kranggs' planet. The war ragged on for days, but to weak to stand let alone fight I tuned out the noise grateful that the distraction had kept my captures from torturing me further. I was prepared to meet my end when my rescuers arrived. They were looking for one of their own, when they found me. I woke up days later informed of who they were, where they found me and that I had been through emergency surgery. I had several broken ribs, broken and fractured bones, a punctured lung, shoulder stab wound and a nasty gash in my head that bled profusely. I also was covered with lacerations from head to toe, many of which were infected; causing the fever that now wracked my body. I closed my eyes and thought about my family. I thought about Raph's eyes, and the betrayal I saw in them, as I watched him scream for me as the escape pod disappear from sight. In all my time with the Krangg I never regretted my decision knowing my family was alive and safe. That was all that mattered. But no matter what happens or how much time passes I can't forget the look on my brothers face, and my heart aches knowing I have caused him pain. _Oh Raph, please don't grieve for me. Please don't give up. Keep on living. Don't lose your fire. I did this so you would live, don;t throw your life and happiness away over grief for me. _Tears streamed down my face, I would give anything to see my immediate younger brother again, even if he yelled at me and called me a dork or idot. I smile to myself as I imagine being reunited with my brothers, father and April; holding their voices and faces in my heart as I drift off into a healing rest.

Months have passed now, and although I am still healing I have regained a great deal of my strength. I have put back on some weight, although I am still alarmingly sickiny. I am no longer fed by an IV or baby food, now that I can now once again keep down regular food, though their food is not exactly regular. _Oh what I would give for Mikey's cooking (wow never thought I'd say that!)_. I am not backup to my old skill yet but I have regained some strength and spirit. My new allies, the ones who rescued me and nursed me back to health have allowed me to train with them, although they keep me under strict observation to make sure I don;t overexert or push myself. I honestly think the only reason they let me practice in the first place is because they think it will help heal my spirit; which it has. The routine has brought normacy back to my life, it has also given me hope that I will see my family again. I feel at ease here, the people on this planet have not only rescued and cared for me they treat me with kindness and respect. I have come to view them as my friends, they do not push or prod. They let me be. Natira the kind voiced one who cared for me after my rescue, never left my side for several weeks and even after I was out of the woods hung close by, her friendly personality and constant chatter put me at ease. She became my first friend. Her brother Nathan the one who found and rescued me from my cell on Dimension X while looking for a comrade kidnapped several days earlier: he was the one who helped me walk again and later trained with me. Never criticizing me when I was weak, only encouraging me. He never said it but I know he was impressed at my skill; despite my weakness left over from near starvation and torture I still hold good form and with the diet and exersise they have me on I am improving slowly but shurly with each passing day. It was grooling at first and I nearly slipped into a hopelessness that I would never recover but thoughts of my family and the encouragement of my new friends pulled me through. I wish I had the words to thank them. I wrote them a letter (a very long and detailed letter that I cried over...and then cried with them. _I know I have become such a soft shell._) But despite my written gratitude and my attempts to express it silently over the last few months, I regret not voicing this gratitude allowed. I have not spoken a word of thanks to my friends, though in all honesty I have not spoken a word at all. Sometime during my time with the Krangg I lost my voice probably due to constant screaming and dehydration. It was the one thing I have yet to recover. I know Nathan secretly hoped that training would bring back my voice and in a way it did. I feel whole again, I feel strong, not completely both physically and mentally but I am getting there. But I know now that I am strong enough to return home, I have already been gone for too long. I leave first thing tomorrow, Nathon is leading a team to take down the Krangg's portal device, they have agreed to let me come along. Due to my still healing injuries I will have to refrain from fighting (or at least somewhat), but before they destroy the device that has wreaked havoc on both my world and theirs; I will get to use it to return home.

I let out a contented sigh as I stare at the night sky from my perch on the hospital window seal.

"Anxious?" A smooth voice asks, and I turn a kind smile to the brown haired women off to my right. Her green eyes smiling back at me as she comes to take a seat next to me her blue dress swishing against the cobblestone as she moves. Part of me will miss this place, it holds a sense of peace a wisdom at the very heart of the culture and people. Dimension y is nothing like its neighbor whom it shares a time zone with. Contrary to its neighbor the inhabitants are peace seeking, honest and kind. They look a lot like humans aside from the blue lines next to their eyes and the fact that they are all hundreds of years old.

A warm hand settles on my cold one. "Do not be disheartened my friend. Although we miss you and are grateful to have met and helped you we know that this is not your home. We would be more than glad to take you in as one of our own, and have you fight and live beside us. But I can see it in your eyes young one you have a family and your heart longs to be near them once more. You are heartsick for the ones you care for and homesick for the world you know. It is normal to feel torn in two, but as you leave for your home do not feel sad for leaving this world behind. Hold it as a memory, but feel no regrets, our people do not believe in those" Natira smiled kindly, and once again I was baffled at how she always has the capability to read my thoughts and feelings. I tried to express with my eyes my gratitude for their hospitality and their friendship as well as how much I would miss them. "You have already expressed your gratitude young warrior. We were happy to take you in and although we will sorely miss you, we'll be happy to see you go." She gave me another winning smile before standing. "Now let's go have dinner we can't return you to your family as skinny as you are now" she let out a sigh "though if our cooking hasn't fattened you up by now, one more night won't make much of a difference" she gave me a playful wink "but let's not break tradition." I smiled at my friend before following her for one last meal.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Raph's P.O.V

"What's the plan cap?" Donetello asks slightly sarcastically. I let out a sigh, _it's not like I asked to become Leader!_ It's hard enough as it is trying to fill Leo's shoes without my brothers' sarcasm and criticism. _Didn't I due the same thing to Leo? _A pain of guilt and hurt stabs my heart, as I finally understand the burden he carried and weight he bravely bear. I know there is no way in Krangg that I will ever be able to fill my big brother's shoes and in a way he'll always be my leader. I regret that I never got to tell him that. I let out a heavy sigh, my legs heavy as I go through the motions. "We go in we get out. Check out whatever it is that has your sensors going all wackadoodle and stop it" I barely note Donnie rolling his eyes, and Mikey not even trying to make a joke. Leo's absence has been hard on all of us, I locked myself in Leo's room for nearly a week after we stopped looking; I honestly don't know how Mike and Don handled I was kinda lost in my own sea of grief. After Splinter named me leader two weeks ago, things have only gotten worse. Mikey has never been more depressed, Sensei assiening me the team shattered Mikey's last hope that Leo was still alive. Our fathers' acceptance of Leo's death hurt us all but it crushed Mikey, he was the last of us to hold onto hope. While Mikey abandoned his grins, pranks and jokes as he slipped into depression Donnie became even more sarcastic and withdrawn after the announcement. And me well let's say I have never felt more heartsick and broken. I'm falling apart, the fire has gone out of me, I'm just going through the motions. Trying to do what Leo would want me to do, keep our brothers safe.

"What's so important about these scanners Donnie?" I ask as we arrive outside of the destroyed TCRI, the building where three months ago my brother lept out of the building after blowing up the building. "_Take that Gravity" I remember yelling as I saved him from hitting the ground. If I saved him from the tower why couldn't save him from the Krangg, the Technodrom. Oh Leo. _

Donnies unenthused voice pulled me back into the present. "These sensors" he spit out sarcastically trodding over his speech mondainely without his usual geeky enthusiasm. "I put these sensors in place a while back to track any krangg portal activity. They went off half an hour ago indicating that someone from Dimension X is trying to activate it. I don't think anything has come through yet, but if my estimates our correct based on repair time and accounting for dimension time differences we have about ten minutes before whatever is on that side transports to this side"

"You Mean the Krangg are waging another attack?!" I yell, Donnie just shrugs. "I don't know. _You're the leader _Raph you figure it out" I bit my tongue trying to hold in my ever growing anger, fueled by Donnies last comment.

"What's dimension time differences?" Mikey asked softly his voice dull. My usually inquisitive and talkative brother had been quite the last few weeks and hadn't said a word the whole trip. How many times had I wished for him to mellow out and give us some peace and now that he has I would give anything for his practical jokes, his laughter, his constant yammering anything over his depressed silence and moping. Donnie gave our orange clad brother a tired smile before launching into an explanation. "Dimension X doesn't have the same time frame as us, there are many laws of physics to explain why" Donnie sighed no longer carrying to launch into a long explanation like he would have done if it were three months ago. "But the point is that time here is slower, hours here would be weeks there. Understand?"

"No" Donnie rolled his eyes. "Soo" mikey taped his chin. "They don't have hours only weeks" Donnie facepalmed "no Mikey" he took a breath gaining back part of his need-to-explain attitude. "Time is the same in Dimension x as it is here, they have minutes, hours, etc. It just moves faster there compared to here"

"Still don't get it D" Donnie sighed.

"Give us an example brainack" i suggested.

"Ok it's been three months since the technodrome" Donnie said nearly choking on the words, I felt my heart catch in my throat but I nodded. Donnie sighed as he continued. "It's been months here, but there..in Dimension x its been nearly a year"

Mikey shook his head mutley showing that he understood, but like the rest of us was at a loss for words. _Are we ever going to get to the point where we can talk about the 'incident' without completely freezing or freaking. _After several minutes of awkward silence I led the team down toward the first level of TCRI.

"Let's just find this studpid portal and make sure it's really broken this time" Donnie and Mikey nod in agreement as we near the last floor. I hear shooting and Krangg voices and before I can stop to think I've already barged in and taken out my first robot, my anger at my brothers death fueling the fight. I'm aware of Mikey and Don fighting behind me. After taking most of them out and the rest momentarily fleeing for cover I turn to the resident genius. "So they came through the portal" Donns over at the computer doing, whatever it is that he does.

"No" Don frowns "i'd say they are part of whatever forces were left over after the invasion and they were drawn here by some sort of sensors similar to ours triggered by the portal."

"So is anything coming through?"

Donnie typed some more "something was then it just..stopped" his fingers froze in motion his eyes widening "interference from the other side. And i'm not talking technical. Something or someone is keeping the Krangg from coming through." I felt my heart hammering in my chest. Suddenly the portal started up, the humming grew louder as it came to life.

"Donnie" I yelled over the noise. "I can't stop it" donnie yelled "I have no control" Donnie grabbed my hand pulling me and Mikey into shelter behind a pillar as the remaining Krangg gathered around the portal awaiting their allies. I closed my eyes, preparing for battle and praying this wasn't my last. Finally the humming stopped. I looked over the pillar to see sparks flying as several Krangg droids fell to the ground.

"The interference" Donnie whispered smiling. I felt a fleeting moment of joy, whoever had come through were not with the Krangg but fighting against them, first on their side now on ours.

"What are we waiting for" Mikey smiled "lets go help them" with that the three of us jumped into battle. We had taken out half a dozen bots when we finally reached the new arrival, and that is where we stopped dead in our tracks. I couldn't take my eyes away as I watched with a pounding heart as twin Katanas took down bot after bot, the figure moving with deadly perfection and grace that can only come with years of ninja training.

"LEO" Mikey's shout pulled my back into the real world. The Katana carrier turned around to greet Mikey with the biggest smile his bright sapphire blue eyes brimming with tears. It was then that everything snapped into place. My brother was Alive! He wasn't dead! He was alive!. And he came back to us! He wasn't ten feat in front of me, alive and well.

"LEO" I screamed the rest of the world fading into the background as I fought off anything that got in my way as I rushed toward my lost brother. I sent a sia into the back of a Krangg droid as it aimed to attack my blue masked brother, ripping it away with a furious cry I kicked it to ground before reaching to pull Leo into a bone crushing hug. "Your alive!" the words escaped my mouth in a teary shot as we fell to our knees in a teary huddle. Leo returned the hug just as fierce nuzzling his face into my neck, warm tears rolling down my neck as my big brother hugged me closer.

"Leo" Donnie yelled pulling Loe out of my hold to look him over, his brown eyes inspecting his hands hovering as if scared that actually touching Leo would prove it was all just an allusion. Leo reached a gentle hand forward cradling Donnies check in his hand, tears running down the elders face. The gesture seemed to cement it for the genius. "Leo" it came out as a broken whisper as tears fell down the younger turtles face. "I..is it really you." Leo just moved his hand to hold the back of Donnies neck in a comforting gesture Leo used to do to calm Donnie down since we were kids. Now it was Donnie's turn to wrap Leo in a bone breaking hug, babbling into the side of Leo's neck as he sobbed. "I..thought..you we..re dead..I thoug..ht we lost you. I miised you soo much Leo..you have no idea.." Leo just smiled mirroring tears on his face and returned to hug.

"LEO" Leo pulled out of the hug, arms wide open as Mikey jumped right into them. Leo held Mikey tight rocking him back and forth as he rubbed soothing circles on his shell. Mikey's babbling wasn't even coherent as he mainly just sobbed. Leo continued to let tears roll down his face a huge grin on his face but he didn't make a sound. Suddenly Leo jumped to his feat swinging Mikey around with one arm in a shielding gesture as the other swung the Katana he pulled from the sheath on his back taking down a droid who had snuck up without notice. If everything else didn;t confirm it already that sure did, only Leo had reflexes that fast. My smile seemed to cover my face. "Wow fearless, just got back and you're already protecting us" my smile faded as I turned to see Leo shaking his eyes blinking rapidly as if trying to clear away blurriness. "Leo?" Donnie got there first catching Leo as he toppled toward the ground, I was by his side in an instant. "What's wrong? is he ok?" I asked frantically. _I just got my brother back I wasn't about to lose him again._

"I don't see any major injuries" Donnie answered quickly "though he seems thoroughly exhausted, he's completely out. I don't think he would have been able to be on his feat much longer" Donnie said shaking his head voice slightly frantic. Taking a deep breath he turned to us " Mikey I need to you rush on ahead your the fasted, prepare the lab and tell master Splinter" Mikey didn't need to be told twice, he bolted away faster than a bolt of lightning. "Raph I'm going to need you to carry him" I nodded once taking my brother as gently as possible in my arms. I felt my heart give one big thud as I lifted him up as though carrying a pillow. "Don" my voice came out frantic "he weighs nothing!" My eyes travel over my brother for the first time as I sprint after Donnie both of us even more anxious to reach home at this revelation. I wasn't joking when I said Leo weighs nothing. Were teenage mutant ninja turtles we aren't supposed to be this light, not even Mikey is this light. Looking down at Leo I notice that most of his muscle tone is gone, his practically nothing but skin and shell.

"My sons" splinters voice is strained as we rush through the turns tables. "Leonardo" his voice seems to catch as his eyes spot his eldest son in my arms.

"Put him on the table Raph" Donnie orders. My breathing hitches as I see my brother clearly this time. I was too excited to notice at TCRI and it was too dim in the tunnels but now I take in the full extent of my brothers condition. He is thin, like paper thin. His whole body is littered with scares. These scars range in shape and size. They look painful, and several look like they had at some point been infected, several of them I can't even imagine what caused them. Tears are pouring down my face now as Donnie rushes around the lab becoming more frantic by the minute. I feel like I'm hyperventilating, looking at my brother who I had taken to be dead laying here unconscious and covered in scars. I take in the several scares that litter every inch of his body. Every single inch! I can't see a place where he isn't scared. _Oh brother what happened to you. _

"Donatello" Sensie's voice comes out shaky, clearly as upset as we are at the state Leo's in.

Donnie lets out a sigh. "He's going to be okay" I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "I surmise that the collapse was due to overexertion. Leo is obviously in no shape to be fighting" Donnie bit his lip as he continued. "Yet he took out several bots at TCRI and I would guess he took out even more before coming through the portal." My heart filled with pride at my older brothers courage and strength, though I couldn't deny an underlying sense of guilt. _I should of been there. I should of found you. I should have saved you on the ship. _

"So all this time, Leo's been in dimension X?" Mikey asked his voice small. I felt my chest close up my eyes widen as realization hit me. The technodrom Leo didn't go down with the ship Krangg Prime must have beamed up and taken Leo with him, but that would make Leo..

"Leonardo must have been held prisoner after the fall of the technodrom" Splinter surmised

"That would explain the scares" Donnie sighed.

"What do you mean" Mikey asked innocently, staring at Leo with teary eyes as he tried to understand how his brother could be hurt this badly.

Donnie let out a sigh as he turned his head down toward the ground. "I think Leo was tortured"

I felt my heart hammer in my chest red filling the edges of my vision. Beside me Mikey gasped and whimpered; Splinter sank down into a chair. Donnie was pale but after swallowing a few times, he continued. "I can't even understand most of these scares but from what I can" he swallowed again "Leo's been wiped, beaten, and from his present weight I would say starved and who knows what else. He turned his face away to look back at Leo. Based on the x-ray during his time.." Donnie paused "with the Krangg Leo broke at least eighteen different bones not including several ribs, most have healed by now. Some appear to have been rebroken and reset." he paused again taking a breath. "A lot of these wounds were infected"

"So your saying Leonardo received no treatment?!" Splinter spit out demonstrating a rare moment of true anger. HIs eyes blazing in fury before he closed them and took a few measured breaths regaining his lost control. Donnie slid down into a chair. "No most of these wounds are..old. The most recent look to be a few months"

"What are you saying?" I asked voice low.

"I'm saying that Leo either escaped or was rescued at least two months ago. From his present state I would semise that he has been resting and healing during that time."

In my shere surprise I couldn't hold in my scoff. "Present state. Donnie he is practically a skeleton and your saying he has been cared for the last two months"

"Yes Raph. These wounds have been treated to recently"

"I do not understand Donetello how Leonardo can get to such a state were two mounths of rest can leave him still so injured and weak after only one month of captivity. Many of these wounds appear much older and malnutrition to this extreme would have to date back further than one month, and Leonardo has been gone for only three"

Don took a deep breath before launching into the same detailed explanation about dimension X's time period that he gave Mikey and Me

"Wait" I yelled red boarding my vision once more "Are you saying that Leo has been in that hell hole of a plant for a year!"

"Leo's oldest scars match up with this time difference" Donnie stated tiredly. I felt tears burning my eyes. I wanted to throw up, I wanted to hit something preferably the krangg they got off easy earlier. But instead I crawled on the cot with my older brother wrapping my arm around his thin frame and pulling him closer. I could always get the Krangg back later but right now no matter how mad I was this was where I needed to be. When Leo woke up i wanted no _needed _to be there. I needed to tell him that I loved him, that I missed him, that I needed him and that I was going to be there with him while he recovered. I turned my head as the mattress shifted. Mikey crawled in behind me followed by Don. I smiled at them, as we formed a protective huddle around our missing piece: waiting for him to wake up.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Leo's P.O.V

_Oh my head. _I thought scrunching my eyes tightly together. _Must have overdone it in the fight_. I surmised. Feeling a mixture of anger and embarrassment and my weakened state. _Weakened in body not in mind_ I reminded myself. I felt my heart beat speed up as the latest memories hit me. The Krangg, I had just swung Mikey away from a Krangg attack then darkness and exhaustion I had been battling finally caught up with me. _Mikey! Is he ok? Are they ok? My brothers where are my brothers?! I just got them back I'm not going to lose them again. _

"Leo" a voice calls my voice softly. I feel my heart flutter with pure joy, Donnie oh how I missed that voice.

"Come on Leo wake up. Don't worry your not there anymore your safe. Your home" Raph's ruff voice soothed. _Home. _the word sent chills down my spine and a warming sensation into my heart. _Wait why are they soothing me is something wrong? _I had heard Natira use the same tone and words with me many times when waking me out of a nightmare. _But I'm not dreaming. _Realization dawned on me, my restlessness over worry for my brothers they must have mistaken it for a nightmare. Opening my eyes slowly I met the concerned smiles of my younger brothers. Raph who was closest to me had a hand on my chest his lips pulled into a worried frown, his red mask tear stained. As our gazes met his tired green eyes seemed to brighten like the sun, giving me the biggest smile as he wrapped me in another hug.

"Don't worry me like that ever again. Do you here!" I just smiled and patted his shell reasurable. _Its alright Raph I'm home now. _I soothed silently, knowing there was no way I could make a promise like that. I soon found myself squashed in the middle of my three brothers and father as our whole family came together for a group hug; tears flowing freely, words spoken truthful as my family cried laughed and healed.

Hours had passed and I found myself sitting on the couch squished between my three brothers. Raph on my right Donnie on my left and Mikey sitting on a pillow at my feet leaning against my legs. I smiled as I eat my soup revling in their company.

"Here Leo drink you milk" Donnie said handing a cup to me. What were they trying to do: fatten me back up in a day? I thought rolling my eyes but nevertheless indulging my younger brother.

"Hey Leo. What do you want to watch?" Raph asked as he took the empty glass out of my hand and set it on the table. Apparently they were going to do every little thing for me. Hopefully this overprotectiveness would wear off in a few days; I'll put up with it for them, goodness knows they've been through a lot. Mikey looks like he hasn't laughed in weeks, Donnie has bags under his eyes and I caught him more than once using more sarcasm than usual and Raph well I don't see that usual fire. I'll put up with whatever pampering they feel necessary, I want them to heal from this. But I honestly don't know how long I'll be able to handle it. I answer Raph's question with a shrug not really caring, just content to be in my brothers company as I snuggle deeper into Raph's side one arm draped around Donnie while the other rubs Mikey's head playfully. I catch Leo and Raph shooting each other concerned glances over my head, and I barely refrain from rolling my eyes at them. Surprisingly it was Mikey who broke the silence and asked the question I know the other two were thinking.

"Leo can..can you not talk?" Mikey's voice came out soft. I felt Donnie and Raph stiffen as the fear was spoken allowed. My face scrunched together in thought as I truly poundered this thought. I haven't spoken a word in months. I hadn't exactly had much to say. I yelled insults and the Krangg though those eventually grew silent as the long period of isolation wore down on me. Once rescued I kept my shield of silence, not even letting down these walls for my new friends. _But now that I'm home shouldn't I be speaking?_ I didn't even consider it; finding myself able to convey my love through tears hugs and gestures. Comfortable enough with my family that I knew them backwards and forwards to the point that I didn't need words to comfort and console them. _But now after the tears were spent, shouldn't I be talking to them?_ Asking them about my time away, telling them all the things I wanted to say while imprisoned. I had spent nearly a year away from them wanting nothing more than to see and talk to them again and now I'm home and I'm silent. These thoughts plagued me, and looking at my brothers I knew they plagued them as well. They deserve an explanation; but I feared I had none to offer. So instead I sighed reaching down to pull Mikey into a hug as he crawled to curl up on my lap. The gesture was meant to be comforting; a measurement that things would work out. That although i'm not talking now I will soon. (at least I hope so). But obviously it didn't come off that way. Mikey broke down once again into sobs, Raph and Donnie stiffened beside me. Looking up from a crying Mikey, I found Donnie's face morphed into one of pain, fear and anger. I reached out to comfort him, but before I could he stormed off to his lab, slamming the door behind him. I inevertantly flinched at the noise. I nearly jumped out of my shell in shock as Raph wrapped his arms around me suddenly. At my startled reaction he pulled away suddenly like he had been burned; pain and shock written over his face. I inwardly scolded myself for my weak reactions, fighting my muscles and nerves to calm I reached out a hand to rest on his trying to calm him as his green eyes filled with tears of pain and anger. I could only imagine what was running through his mind right now. Looking up at my gesture I sent him a reassuring smile; he only gulped in response. Murmuring something about helping Donn with something before standing up to head to the lab. I let out a sigh as I nestled further into the couch with Mikey. Once he stopped crying we put on a movie and fell into a light doze the two of us snuggling.

Raph's P.O.V

_He flinched actually flinched_. I shut my eyes in a fatal attempt to push the tears from my eyes. Mikey had the balls to ask the question Don and I have been wondering since the moment we got Leo back. Why hasn't he spoken. I expected Leo to smile and go on about some excuse to explain his unusual quiet behavior, anything over the response we got instead. He just sat there as if asking himself the same question;before coming to some sort of acceptance. So many emotions shot through those Sapphire eyes that I didn't even have the chance to ponder half of them. My brother was Mute! This thought sent me into a raging fury that made me want to go out and bust some Krangg. I saw the same fury in Donnies eyes, the pain, the anger, the confusion. After everything Leo had been through after everything he had lost; they took his voice as well, this thought made my heart ache and sent red back into the borders of my vision. I understood Donnie when he stormed off but the pained look in Leo's eyes hurt me to my core. But that was nothing compared to his flinch as Donnie slammed his door. I didn't even think as I threw my arms around Leo; desperate to comfort my brother. But if his flinch at Donnie's inadvertent behavior was a crack in my heart seeing him flinch from my hug was like a dagger to my already bruised heart.

I closed the door to Donnie's lab slowly, as I entered. Unable to sit on the couch any longer.

"No no no" Donnie mumbled to himself as he shuffled around the lab pulling out paperwork and typing on his computer going around his lab in a frenze.

I let out a sigh as I collapsed in a chair by his desk. Donnie stopped his trek around the lab at my arrival his eyes looking pleadingly over at me. "Is he ok?" I let out a sigh, knowing he wouldn't like my answer. "He flinched" I stated bluntly the words sending shards of pain into my heart.

"At what?" Donnie swallowed. "When you slammed your door" Donnoies eyes widened in guilt. I bit my lip fighting away tears. "And then I went to hug him, cause I just..i thought.." Donnie let out a sigh "you wanted to comfort him and he flinched away" Donnie finished. I looked at him in shock before nodding. He let out a sigh sinking into the chair next to mine. "I thought this might happen. Leo was mistreated and tortured for a very long time; it's inevitable that some trama will remain" Donnie let out a sigh "I just thought he'd be able to talk about it." My usually docile brother sent a fist into the desk next to him. "Therapy is the cure for PTSD. Talking about a traumatic event helps you recover from it. How is Leo going to heal if he's trapped in his own mind. Trapped in this thought, trapped back _there." _he spit. I let out a sigh before placing a hand on Donnies. "But he's not there. And he's not in his mind. He's here with us. He's just quiet that's all. If you think therapy will help Leo get over this that's what we'll do. We'll just have to work around the quiet thing is all. Master Splinter always says 'look at an obstacle not as a roadblock but an opportunity at a new course."

Donnie smiled "you sound like Loe"

I returned the smile "well I've missed him so much"

"He is the same though" Donnie mumbled to himself. I smiled knowing what he meant. I saw it in his eyes the same fearlessness, the devotion, loyalty. After all he has been through Leo is still Leo.

"Do you think you could cure his voice" I asked after a moment. Donn let out a sigh running a hand down his face. "I don't know Raph. It's either one of two things. Leo either lost his voice due to the torture. Or he just stopped talking."

"Why would he stop talking"

Donn sighed "he was probably interrogated after being captured and not wanting to give anything away he just didn't say anything"

I frowned in thought "but he's home now, why isn't he talking" Don sighed "habit I guess maybe fear. He probably hasn't spoken in months."

"Would explain why he had to think about the question. Probably isn't sure if he can speak himself"

Don nodded "we just need to give him time, try not to push him too much." I nodded. Walking out of the lab I smiled at the sight of Leo and Mikey curled up on the couch together. _We will get through this. _I reminded myself. _Leo's home that's all that matters. We will get through this as a family as a team. Leo's strong, no doubt about that. And we're not giving up on him we'll be there for him. I'll be there for him. We'll just take this one day at a time. _

**Please Review**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Warning fluff and brotherly sap and comfort ahead. **

Leo's P.O.V

The next few days passed like bliss. I relished every moment I got to spend with my beloved family. Sure they watched me like a hawk and barely let me do anything by myself. But I was just as nervous to let them out of my sight as they were with me. I found myself practically stuffed to the bone with the amount of food pushed on me, well at least until it led to me throwing up. It was like they had never seen my sick before. After that it was like they were torn they still wanted to push food on me, yet at the same time they would bicker among themselves about what I eat and how much. It's irritating like they don't think I can decide these things for myself. I know I'm not exactly helping my case not saying anything. It's hard back on dimension Y, sure my friends were anxious for me to speak but here I can taste the anxiety in the air, its thick like a cloud. They treat me like I'm made of glass. I see it in their eyes when they try to push food on me, or every time they see my scars, or when I inevertinaly flinch. That's the worst. Though I don't let it get me down, I have already started conditioning myself back on dimension Y and have made a lot of progress already. But in all fairness they don't know that. Everytime I flinch I inwardly scold myself before reaching out to soothe whoever was near, weather Mikey, Donnie, Raph or even Splinter. I can see in their eyes hope and pride when this happens; but the pain is still there. It hurts them to remember what I went through. I just hope that in the future this scare to will heal and that we can all move past this, be grateful for what we have, mourn for the time lost and move forward towards the future.

That's what I'm trying to do. I'm in the dojo now practicing some Katas I don't want to get rusty and the familiar movements helps center my restless soul it brings about a sense of normalcy and control. It also helps me channel my inner strength and relinquish and work through my anger. The last few days have been heaven. I have spent nearly every waking moment with my family. Meditating with Sensei, watching movies with my brothers, playing games, listening to their stories, or just sitting in contented silence. It has been wonderful but part of me has longed to hold my familiar swords once again. So while my family thought I was resting I snuck into the dojo for a bit of practice. I hadn't been here for long, just long enough to break into a good sweat when I heard the dojo doors open and sensed rather than saw Raph walk in.

"Leo" he said alarmed with a hint of irritation in his voice. "Ya had us worried sick. Mikey and Don are looking everywhere for ya. Don nearly had a heart attack when he went to check on ya and you weren't in your room" he stopped his rant as his senses caught up to him and he realized what I had been doing. "Where..were you practicing?" he bit out. I had to roll my eyes at him. My earlier guilt for causing them worry slipped away as I sensed the oncoming lecture.

"I can't believe you" Raph growled stomping over to me. I tried to brush past him irritated by the constant babying. _I am not a helpless child Rapheal I can keep care of myself. You guys don't need to treat me as though I am made out of glass. _Raph grabbed my arm as I brushed past him, his eyes worriedly scanning over me; taking in my ausation the swords and the still burning candles that would indicate that I have been here for at least an hour. His eyes got big. "Oh no," he breathed out, shaking his head as though he has made up his mind. I nearly let out a surprised gasp as Raph threw me over his shoulders in one easy motion. The workout totally wiping me out to the point where my protests were futile if embarrassing. He walked toward the door with me slung over his shoulder as though I didn't weigh a thing. I could sense his concern but for once I almost didn't care I felt humiliation, irritation and a sense of pride bubbling up inside of me silencing my usual brotherly concern. Without a second thought I went to yell my brother's voice in my authoritative tone; I only got half way before I broke into a fit of coughing my voice horse from lack of use. Raph immediately set me down his green eyes filled with worry as they scanned over me. I felt my cheeks heat up as the cough continued to rage through me, my hand covering my mouth as I fought to get my breathing back under control. Raph opened his mouth to call out for Donnie but my hand shot forward covering his mouth before he could. His concerned eyes shot daggers at me; but I didn't care, I had let this go on for far to long and It was time to address it. After several moments I got my breathing under control and I raised my safire eyes to meet his. Lowering my hand I looked intently into his eyes.

"R..raph" I tried a second time, my voice coming out merely a whisper and sounding like nails in a blender. Another fit of coughing seged me but it feel away seconds later.

" " he whispered tears in his eyes and I could see relief taking over as fear fell away; realising my fit of coughing. I smiled at him reasurdly. I didn't try to stop him this time as he called out for Donnie.

"What is it my son?" came to my father's voice from the doorway; Mikey and donnie on his heels. "Have you found Leonardo?"

"Leo" Mikey yelled as Donnie rushed forward looking over me, after deciding that I was indeed ok. He let out a sigh, then his eyes fell on the candle and my Katanas. "Were you practicing?" he accused. I rolled my eyes. "What were you thinking?!" he demanded "do you want to collapse again. Shell Leo you're still recovering don't rush yourself self along like that. Of all the irresponsible…"

"Donnie" I cut him off, my voice still small and horse. It stopped my genius brother in his tracks and Mikey and Sensei were by my side in an instant. Waiting patiently as I coughed my lungs out, again. Raph rubbed soothing circles on the back of my shell while Donnie and Mikey gave me words of encouragement. After a moment or two I had regained my composure, taking a few deep breaths I continued. "I don't want you guys to worry so much" my voice came out broken.

"How can we not worry Leo?" Raph's voice was angry but I could hear the teary note underneath. "You were in that hell hole for nearly a year. A year Leo! Krangg. We thought you were dead! You have no idea how much that hurt"

I let out a sigh imagining the pain I had placed on my family in my attempts to save them. "I'm sorry Raph" I met his bright green eyes letting my sincerity shine through. "I never meant to hurt you" I met each of my brother's and father's gazes "i never meant to hurt any of you" I moved my hand to touch my hot head's brothers heart like I used to do when we were children. Placing my hand on his heart and then taking his hand and putting in on mine covering the top of the callosed green hand with my own. "Brother'' I love you" my voice came out horse. "I love you, I love all of you with all my heart" I let out a sigh "I want you to know I'm ok. I don't want you to worry." Moving my gaze from his green eyes to Donnie's brown I placed a comforting hand around the back of my genius brother's neck. Then lastly I turned to mikey taking both his hands in mine giving them a comforting squeeze. After comforting each of my younger brothers in their own special ways that I have done since childhood I pulled my hands back into my lap as I continued. "But if I had it to do over again. I would go through it again. I would do anything to keep you all safe. Your my world" Tears were pouring out of my eyes now, my horse voice cracking with emotion. But my voice held a firm tone, my leader voice and my eyes held the truth of my words.

"But Leo" Donnie's voice came out soft and soriful. I held out a hand to silence him and was grateful when Sensie sent them a silencing glance before signalling for me to continue. I sent him a thankful smile before continuing.

"I hate what I had to go through. I hate having to be away from you for so long" my voice broke with emotion. "It hurt so much to be apart from you, but I was comforted knowing that you were ok that you made it home" I took a deep breath before meeting my father's deep wise eyes. ""With the world at stake the only thing of importance is that you complete the mission no matter what you have to sacrifice or who" I saw my father stiffen as I repeated his words back to him. And this confused me, I shot him a warm loving smile before continuing; turning my gaze back to my brothers. "You guys are my mission. Your my little brothers. I would do anything I could to keep you safe. So no I don't regret my decision. And I don't want you to either" I shot each of my brothers a serious stare knowing they had secretly been blaming themselves. "I don't want you to blame yourselves or each other" my gaze softened. "I know we can get through this. I'm not saying that things will get easier or that It will go back to how things were before. I'm going to need your help and support. But as long as we stick together I know we can get through this. I want you guys to feel free to talk about what happened. I don't want you to feel like you can't come to me like you used to before this all happened. We will all need each other."

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" Donnie smiled.

"We can get through this" Raph echoed.

"Together" mikey finished his smile back to its usual brightness as tears poured down his smiling face. I wrapped them all in a comforting hug. Knowing without a hint of doubt for the first time since I had returned home that everything would be alright. Several minutes past as the five of us sat in the dojo in a group hug, I finally broke the silence and spoke.

"I think we should have April over"

"For Pizza!" Mikey added smiling "with pepperoni, skiddles, gummy worm chocolate ice cream and.."

"Uh Leo" Donnioe interrupted pulling out of the hug rubbing the back of his head. "I Haven't told her yet about.."

I just smiled "well there's no better time than the present" I patted Don's shoulder "and isn't it good news?" I asked smirking.

"The best" Raph's smile gleaned the usual fire and light back in his green eyes. I look around my reunited family. Yes things were good; it wouldn't always be easier. But hey when your teenage mutant ninja turtles it never is. But as long as we're together we can get through anything.

**Thank you for Reading. **

**Happy end of summer. Please Review. **


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